Dear New Parents,
Feeding your baby is one of the first ways you connect with them—through cuddles, milk, and mealtimes. It’s natural to expect that feeding should come easily. So when your baby starts to cry, turn away, or refuse to eat, it can feel like something is going very wrong.
If you’re worried about your baby refusing to feed, you’re not alone. What you might be dealing with is something called feeding aversion, and while it can be scary and confusing, there is help—and hope.
Let’s walk through what feeding aversion is, when it can begin, and how to recognize the signs, especially as a new parent.
What Is Feeding Aversion?
Feeding aversion is when a baby repeatedly refuses to eat, despite being hungry or otherwise healthy. This can happen during breastfeeding, bottle feeding, or even during early solids. It’s not a sign of stubbornness or picky eating—it’s a sign that something about feeding is uncomfortable or distressing for your baby.
This can be incredibly upsetting for parents who are trying everything they can to nourish and comfort their child. But understanding that this behavior may come from fear, discomfort, or sensory overload can help you begin to address it more gently and effectively.
At What Age Can Feeding Aversion Start?
Feeding aversion can begin at any age in infancy, but it’s most commonly seen between:
- 0–6 months: During breast or bottle feeding.
- 4–7 months: When solids are first introduced.
- 8–12 months: As feeding becomes more varied and babies assert more independence.
It may start suddenly after an illness, a painful feeding experience, or a change in feeding routines. Or it may build gradually, with your baby taking less and showing more resistance over time.
Here are some typical age-related triggers:
| Age | Common Feeding Aversion Triggers |
|---|---|
| 0–3 months | Reflux, tongue-tie, fast milk flow, overfeeding |
| 4–6 months | Introduction of solids, teething, illness |
| 6–9 months | Gagging on textures, oral sensitivity, developmental changes |
| 9–12 months | Pressure to eat, transitions from milk to solids, separation anxiety |
Signs to Watch For
Not every feeding refusal is a feeding aversion—but if you’re noticing consistent patterns that last beyond a few days, it’s worth paying attention.
1. Crying or Screaming at Mealtimes
Your baby may become visibly upset when placed in a feeding position or when offered food or milk. This distress may start before the feeding even begins.
2. Turning Away or Arching the Back
Babies with aversion may stiffen their body, arch away from you, or twist their head to avoid feeding.
3. Clamping Mouth Shut or Pushing Bottle/Breast Away
Even if they’re hungry, they might tightly shut their mouth, turn their head, or push the bottle or spoon away with their hands.
4. Feeding Only While Asleep or Drowsy
Some babies will only feed during naps or when sleepy because their defenses are down. This can lead to irregular schedules and poor intake.
5. Very Short or Incomplete Feeds
They might latch or start eating, only to stop within a minute or two. They never seem to take a full feed and may become fussy soon after.
What Causes Feeding Aversion?
Feeding aversion often stems from a negative association with feeding. That could be caused by:
- Pain (e.g., reflux, allergies, teething, or oral thrush)
- Overfeeding or force-feeding
- Medical procedures involving the mouth or nose (like tubes or suctioning)
- Anxiety in the feeding environment—even subtle stress from a caregiver can be sensed by a baby
- Sensory sensitivities, especially in babies who may later show signs of neurodivergence
It’s important to remember: this is not your fault. Many well-meaning parents unknowingly trigger or worsen aversion simply by trying harder to get their baby to eat.
What You Can Do as a New Parent
1. Pause and Observe
Step back and look at your baby’s cues. Are they showing signs of hunger? Do they act differently when feeding is not on the table?
2. Create a Calm, Pressure-Free Environment
Take the pressure off. Offer food or milk gently and let your baby take the lead. Don’t coax, trick, or force—it often makes things worse.
3. Track Feeding Patterns
Keep a short log of how often, how much, and how willingly your baby is feeding. This can help your pediatrician or feeding specialist pinpoint what’s going on.
4. Rule Out Medical Issues
Reflux, allergies, or mouth pain can all make feeding uncomfortable. A pediatrician can help assess if there’s a physical reason for your baby’s resistance.
5. Seek Help Early
You don’t need to wait for a crisis. If you suspect feeding aversion, talk to your pediatrician, lactation consultant, or ask for a referral to a feeding therapist. The earlier you get support, the better the outcome for you and your baby.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone
Feeding aversion can be heartbreaking, especially when you’re already navigating the emotional rollercoaster of new parenthood. But here’s the truth: many babies go through this—and they recover. With the right support, a little patience, and a gentle approach, you and your baby can rebuild a healthy, positive relationship with feeding.
You’re doing your best. You’re learning as you go. And that’s more than enough.
With care,
From One Parent to Another